i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
