Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We have so much sex to catch up on
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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