Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
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