I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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