Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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