I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
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