Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
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