i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
