Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
where are you?
Hypothermia
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Randomize
