puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
