Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
