If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
there is puke in my bra ... again
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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