my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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