Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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