I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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