Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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