you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
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If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This is the high leading the old right now
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
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Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword