I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?