Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
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Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
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is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was