My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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