There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
