Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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