So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize