It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I deserve to be covered in dicks
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
