I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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