she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Randomize
