He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
