Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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