why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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