i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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