Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
