i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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