U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
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