i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
