You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize