She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
