it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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