cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
