Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
