Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Randomize
