I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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