new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
