I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
