hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Randomize
