my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
