'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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