the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
