I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
