Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
