He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
