Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
