Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
