BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
