hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Randomize
