hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
