Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
