but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Randomize
