is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
