He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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