Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
