I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The cops high fived after they tackled you
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