this boner is exhausting
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
