I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
