Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You made out with two different species that night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
