Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
