Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm always down for nudity.
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