I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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