i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize