I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
